Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Red Menace

(This post was actually written Feb. 15, in a wee hour of the morning.)

 I was sitting here getting ready to ad my "Bokeh" picture to link up to

when it happened.


I have something in my house that I hate. 

I dislike using the word hate,
especially on Valentines Day;
especially after my previous post.
But it's not Valentine's Day anymore.
Nope.
It is now 1:37 am.

Yes, not Valentine's Day.
I don't like to "hate."

But I can't help it.
I just can't.




 No, it is not that I find incredible artwork
on my freshly cleaned bathroom mirrors
that appear
magically
when I least expect them.



 Nor is it the
constant discovery
of my
daughter's
annoying fascination
with planting
my
hair things
all
over
the house.



 Really.





Nor is it the endless supply
of
glitter.

Who,
 I beg of you,
is supplying
my child
with
this stuff?

'Fess up,
you glitter fiends.
 



And although it may seem logical,
it is not even the fact that my Que
on Netflix
has been overtaken by
Season 1,
Season 2,
Season 3,
Season 4,
Season 5,
and, yes,
even Season 6
of Daniel Boone.

Each of these SEASONS containing approximately 6 DISCS of 4 hours EACH
of
Daniel Boone.

(Thank you for the Christmas gift of a year of Netflix,
dear parents-in-law.

Perhaps I will get to see a movie
mid-November.)

 (I have developed such a love for Mingo (sarcasm),
and Daniel,
and the theme song 
that my children have firmly planted in their memories
and will spew forth
with random
loud
singing
at creative moments:
in the truck,
when I'm on the phone,
in the grocery store.

Ah,
2011:
the year of Daniel Boone.)


And, even though you might think so,
it is not the fact that my son has entered
a...

stage.


Exploratory, is it?

I find things:
 unusual things...

everywhere.



Someone has been rooting through my bathroom cupboard.
I think so.



 And in the refrigerator,
my food,
keeps
coming
out
with
ice
in
it.

My son has a sudden love for numbers,
especially certain ones,
and it doesn't matter what number is SUPPOSED to be the correct setting.

My dishes get washed
and
aren't clean
because they are on
the
light cycle
with
low energy.

Because all buttons
are fun to push
and change.

Exploratory.




No,
the thing that I hate...



screeches at me.



It makes it's presence known when I least expect it

sending me into a panic
that involves
hurried dashes through the house,
harmful leaping and
diving where there is no water

or cushions

or safety nets.

At precisely 1:34 am,
just a few minutes ago...
 I catapulted into my sons room
to attend to it,
yet again.



It is the Red Menace.
 No matter where I hide it,

it gets found,




 and set to ring...

at random, terrifying moments
about every 3 days,
just enough time to make me think
that they have finally gotten tired of doing this to me.
I reset it for a reasonable time,
turn the hands back to the right time,
and shut it off;
but somehow
it always,
ALWAYS
gets turned back to ring it's blood curdling alarm at some
strange hour
when all is quiet
and
asleep.


I cringe.
I stub my toes on unknown objects.
I fall up the stairs.
I jab my fingernail on the clock shut-off button.
I snarl at it when it's all over
and
bark
like one of the Three Stooges.

I need help.
Spiderman, you are not my hero.



And then I go back to my computer
start editing my pictures
and see this:
baby's new love,
and big sister's efforts to assist her:






 All is well again.








(Thank you to those who said such nice things about my love story.  I will post the next part to it next Monday.  My brain thinks slow, so I need to figure out how to write the ending to it.)



25 comments:

  1. Sorry that Spiderman has made his way into your house! I hope he migrates to warmer climates soon - so that you can sleep with both eyes closed.

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  2. Nothing worse than having an alarm clock go off unexpectedly. It often happens when one of my adult children has slept at home for one night and then neglects to un-set the alarm.

    Really jarring!

    =)

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  3. Oh you are funny! My twin boys are doing the same to me, but thank goodness they don't have an alarm clock! Pictures in the mirror are fab, we used to make a fist, press it against the mirror and then press 3 finger tips against it, and tada... some 3 toed person has been walking across the mirror!

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  4. Such a cute post! Love the photos!

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  5. Such is the fate of Spiderman's enemies..errr...ahhhh Mommies!!!
    Cute post and it reminds me of an alarm clock that my son had one time...it sounded just like a freight train...it was horrible...I think it found a new home in the trash can one day!!!

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  6. I loved reading this, especially since I had *just* finished cleaning my computer screen of ink from my mad scribbling escapade... You are an excellent writer!

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  7. Great post!! :) My favorite is the last picture of the cute little "piggies" (what we call toes) Happy Tuesday!

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  8. What a fun post this was! I miss having little kids around the house, doing the silliest things for entirely unexplainable reasons!
    Happy REDnesday!
    Carol

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  9. I couldn't wait to get to the end...
    and am glad to live alone!!

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  10. What a hoot! I laughed and laughed as I enjoyed your post all the way thru. And I could so relate as one of my grandchildren has a wristwatch that does
    The same thing! So irritating. And wait
    Til they are old enough for cell phones with alarm clocks. Joys of technology ;) thanks for a delightful Rednesday visit.

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  11. Thanks for linking your great photo to the party and for entertaining me with such a funny post. Your kids are a hoot and you tell the story so well.

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  12. Love the photo...I enjoy Tracy's party, it's fun to take pictures. Thanks for your comment, made me chuckle...I just can't understand the big deal people make of things.
    I also wanted to thank you for joining my newbie party, it is so great to have you there, and I hope you are making some new friends!

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  13. Beautiful post. I loved reading it, laughing at the memories it brings back.

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  14. Very funny post!! I understand that clock issue, my youngest son has a similar one that goes off at very inappropriate times!
    Good Luck with Daniel Boone.:o)
    Fondly,
    Ann
    @
    The Tattered Tassel

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  15. Hah ... what a great post. I like your style and I can relate ...

    I'm remembering a certain alarm clock we called The Banshee.

    I'm also remembering a certain teenage daughter who had her stereo set on a timer. And I recall waking up to a middle-of-the-silent-night LOUD blast of DAH DAH DAH DAH (those 4 notes of Beethoven's 5th Symphony ...) wow. It's been years, but I still remember that jolt.

    And guess what ... Daniel Boone episodes are on every weeknight on RTV ... so as I'm trying to drift off to sleep, I'm hearing "the rippin'est roarin'est fightin'est man the frontier ever knew..." thanks to hubby.

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  16. Oh I just loved this post! I am so glad you find humor in what some moms just don't. A co-worker was had told me last week how his son always turns the knob on the water heater and he never knows when he will be stuck in a lukewarm shower.

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  17. Thanks so much for all your fun comments! I enjoyed reading each one. Made my day! I'm glad I have so many people that relate: makes me not hate Spiderman so much. :) Thank you for stopping by!

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  18. LOL! Thanks for providing my chuckle for the day! Such a clever post! Love it all ... and Daniel Boone! Why? That is so funny to me! I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. I may have to rediscover Daniel ... maybe I'm missing something. Thanks so much for sharing and brightening my day.
    Blessings to you,
    Lynn
    www.cottageandcreek.com

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  19. This cracks me up because I just had this conversation with my husband the other day- I spend a good 20-30 minutes each morning after he leaves just going around picking up the trails of things left by everyone around here. I find the same hair bands in places they don't belong, soda cans & water bottles on the counter- just 2 steps from the trash can. WHY????!!!! It drives me batty :) Glad I am not the only one.

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  20. What a wonderful story, and one that we all can relate to! (I'd throw out that clock, if I were you. LOL!) But, years from now, you'll have a wonderful memory of that dreadful thing!

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  21. LOL! :D I am *SO* with ya! (wiping away the tears) Well said!

    Visiting from the HHH!

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  22. That was delightful, what fun!
    Came by from HHH to say hi.

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  23. Ah, the joys (?) of motherhood.

    Cheer up - - - it COULD be a school fire alarm, that would be even MORE annoying, wouldn't it?

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  24. Hello my friend...

    Ahhh...what a sweet and funny story all wrapped up into one, my friend! I love it! Well, I can say that now because all of my dear children are all grown, married, and have families of their own! Paybacks!!! Muahhhh!!! Hehe! Seriously, I sooo miss the pitter patter of those little feet...no matter how mischievious that they were! Enjoy your babies while you can! I would even lay money on it...that someday...maybe way into the future...you will even laugh about the Red Menace!

    Thank you sooo much for sharing this lovely post with us for the Sunday Favorites repost party! I thoroughly enjoyed it and all the sweet memories that visited!!!

    Warmest wishes,
    Chari @Happy To Design

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