Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Solution to Missing Heads.

 Do you know how many times I get out of bed
or walk up to the bedroom to put clothes away,
and I find this lying around?

 Why is it I just can't bring myself to throw this thing away?

When Lillie finds it,
she always brings it to me saying,

"Oh, poor Teddy Girl Bear lost her head again.
Let me see her,"
I respond.

 She's just too sweet;
so I'll spare her the trouble of getting herself into Lillie's cumbersome hands
or under Levi's tromping feet,
and I'll set her where she is safe:...

on Violet's "special fragiles" shelf.

Sweet Teddy Girl Bear reminds me of life's problems sometimes.

My father-in-law spent a few days in the hospital for his heart last week.
He has a recurring problem with his heart beating too fast
at unpredictable times.
It's unnerving,
for him and for all of us who love him.

I wish there was something we could do to make him feel more comfortable.
But there isn't;
except to pray.

My uncle died on Tuesday evening.
He fell and banged his head pretty badly and he was in a coma.
I do not know him very well;
he lived on the other side of the country.
But his son and daughter are my age,
and I feel for my cousins.
And he's my mom's oldest of four brothers,
so I feel for her and her siblings' loss.
There is nothing I can do for them;
(outside of the normal courtesies)
except pray.

My mom went to the doctor Tuesday
and found out the moles they took off her face were cancerous

She had some taken off her face a few years ago,
and they were also the beginnings of cancer.

She has had to face cancer 3 times in my lifetime.
These moles on her face and leg, the beginnings of ovarian cancer, 
and an incident when I was a child.

When I was 9 years old,
she had a pregnancy that terminated without her knowledge that it had died.
The baby turned to a cancerous mass.
It is unusual, called a molar pregnancy.
It stems from the man's side,
and my father is Russian, where it is more common.

I was so sad that I was not going to have a little sibling,
but it was even harder watching mom go through chemo treatments,
lose her hair,
feel sick,
and in a child's worrisome way,
fret that she might die.

It was scary to go through as a child.

I suppose in a way,
that is what made us all much more interested in healthy living
and that put us on a continuous path of learning in it.

When you see someone go through that,
it makes it that much more real to you.
That's why I have a hard time when I inform somebody
that something is bad or carcinogenic,
and they shrug it off with
"Well, we're all going to die of something"
"Everything causes cancer."

When you've been through watching somebody deal with cancer
this answer seems so...

Anyhow, yes, it is scary,
a little.
Anytime the Doctor says,
"We need to talk to you,"
it is a little scary.

But when there is nothing more that I can do,
I feel rather like I do with sweet Girl Teddy Bear.

I do what I can,
but then I put her up where she is safe.

I have to do the same with people,
when there is nothing I can do.
I have to pray and put them up in God's hands,
trusting Him to carry my burden
and to help me and those involved through whatever it is that
He wants to do.

It's so much easier when it's up there.
There is no more bending down to find the pieces,
wonder how it got this way yet again,
wonder why I need to deal with it.

 It is safe.

I am so thankful for that safety.

 And it looks considerably prettier up there in that perspective, too.

"Casting all your care upon Him;
for He careth for you."
 I Peter 5:7

If you could say a prayer for my mom;
The only appointment open for her procedure was not until June.
We are praying somebody else will cancel their appointment
so that she can then go in and get this done as soon as possible.

Thank you!

and to:

holy experience


  1. This is a wonderful analogy. I have a loved one that I am putting "up where he is safe" every day. Sometimes, I try to get him down again before the day is over. Thanks for reminding me not to.

    I will keep your mom in my prayers.


  2. Praying for her. Such a good analogy today. It's hard to put things up on that fragile shelf and not try to fix them ourselves.

  3. Thanks so much for posting about your mom so we can pray.

  4. Awww, so many rough things that assault us in life. And it can be doubly hard when they assault someone we love. Will say a prayer for your sweet Mom.

  5. I had a molar pregnancy in '09. Had to have the chemo and all. Never heard that it comes from the man's side though. And I, of course, tried fixing that head over and over again rather than laying that burden at the feet of Jesus (or up on that fragile stuff shelf). Lifting your mom up!

  6. Tonya, this is a another beautiful writing, sad, but beautiful. I know how you feel about your Mom having to wait so long for her appointment. When my Dad would have heart problems, he sometimes couldn't get the surgery for a month to three months that he had to wait. That is when God says, do not worry, talk to me, I will take care of it. :) God is so good!!! Praying for you, your Mom & her family.

  7. She will be in my prayers. I hope everything turns out okay. That was such a sweet and sad post.

  8. That was amazing reading and such a good reminder. How comforting it is to know we can cast our care....but how many times we take it back....but He is ever faithful and attentive to our weary ways. We'll most definitely be praying for you and your family. Cancer has touched my family too. Cherith N.

  9. Very much enjoy readIng all that you've blogged...thanks for sharing:)

  10. absolutely! praying with you ~
    God's timing is impeccable!
    from one violet china lover to another...

  11. Praying with you for your Mom this morning! Cute little teddie and application made to casting our cares upon the Lord!

  12. I love your analogy and will definitely pray for your mom. She's an obvious fighter.....if 2 or more pray....☺

  13. The picture of the bear safely in the teacup will stay with me a long time. I love thinking of myself in God's teacup.

    Praying for your mother,

  14. Love how you used the darling teddy bear to illustrate a great lesson. I'm praying for your mother. I had a cancer removed from my face last year. I know it can be scary.
    Blessings to you and your family.

  15. Praying for your mom to get an earlier appointment. I know how frustrating and anxiety-producing that can be. Praying for peace too...

  16. When I read of your putting your child's bear up on the "fragile shelf" it made me think that there are some things in life that are fragile, including people. We need to be gentle with people. When someone is going through a hard time they don't need our advice or easy answers, they just need to hear us say, "I'm sorry...I'm here if you need to talk."

    Having been through many traumatic and tragic events in my life I can say that kind of compassion is rare. I was fragile for so long, and at different times, after continually burying loved ones who died young. It would have been nice if someone - anyone! - would have noticed and tried to help. But even those closest to me wanted me to "perk up...stop being so're supposed to be joyful."

    I hope for the very best outcome for your mom. My dad died in 2008 after a six-year battle with an incurable cancer. It is a sad thing to watch. And I miss him.

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