Sometimes I worry.
I don't understand him.
He thinks differently than I do.
He reacts to things that I do not,
to words.
I want him to love life,
to love God,
to work hard,
to laugh at things that are funny,
to have wisdom,
to become a man.
But I am not a man.
I am a woman.
How does a woman teach a boy to become a man?
When he gets swallowed up in his things,
I look at him and wonder if I am doing enough?
Am I what he needs?
By being his mother,
a woman,
but by letting him be a little boy,
by realizing he is a gift to me to care for
in this moment...
is that where it starts?
But is it enough?
His father is the man in his life.
Does this mean I can be the woman in his life...
for now?
Sometimes I wonder,
I pray
that for now
that it is enough.
I pray that I will have wisdom
to be what he needs.
And then I go into the kitchen and make his breakfast.
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I can totally relate to this; I have a 8-year old son. And I wonder too, every day...
ReplyDeleteYour images of your son are truly beautiful.
Oh my...this was just beautiful. I'm the mother of 5 sons. All grown now. Enjoy this special time in his life.
ReplyDeleteAnd always remember, you hold a special place in his heart, forever.
Seems like only yesterday my son looked like this.... he will be 13 this year. Savour these moments, they go by so fast and before you know it they are as tall as you and think they know everything.
ReplyDeleteMollyxxx
You will always hold a special place in his heart! You are the one who nurtures and comforts and our boys really need the love of a mother as they go out into this world. You will always be his first love!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with the same questions with my WeeMan. How do you love them enough without smothering that daring heart?
ReplyDeleteI agree with Susan. Just love your son, and you will hold that place in his heart always.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for MamMonki's question, mine didn't LET me smother their daring hearts, even though I was a bit on the overprotective side.
;)
This post reminds me of my Christopher at that age. He played by himself alone for hours and was quite talkative with anyone who would listen to his ramblings. He is now seventeen an becoming a man more and more everyday. I too, have these thoughts often and wonder how do I nuture him now at this age? I pray God helps me along the way because I am clueless most times!
DeleteThat was beautiful! :). I agree, those pictures of him are amazing. I've found it's true that you can judge a man by the relationship he has with his mother. His dad is his blueprint for how to be a man, but you play a very important part in the man and husband he will become, too- and the yardstick by which he will measure all other women. My oldest is eleven now and our relationship is changing. I can see glimpses of the man he's going to become :). I miss my little boy sometimes, but it's really a neat time as they get older.
ReplyDeleteOh, I wonder too. I have 2 boys. I appreciate all the reassuring comments too!
ReplyDeleteI have three sons - 22, 18 and 16. Yes, you are the "woman in his life" for now and his dad will teach him how to be a man. The two of you together will teach him how to love. It all comes together, beautifully designed by our Father! Beautiful ponderings!
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