When I am Right. When I am Wrong.

 Sometimes in life,

we forget that we're all here,

coming from different backgrounds;

 different perspectives from different experiences;

different interests that cascade from a different focus.

Unfortunately, on occasion,

we even see others who disagree with us as ugly,

unlearned,

irritating,

perhaps even stupid.

But when we give people a chance,

when we realize that all people make mistakes,

need forgiveness,

bump, trip, fall;

we can also see that part of love

is coming beside,

patiently praying,

waiting:

waiting for others to see truth,

praying for them to find the answers,

realizing that our own quota of answers lies vastly lacking.

Sometimes,

we see immediate results...

 and they are beautiful...

and make us happy.

But some projects/people

require time.

They make us stand back and examine and think.

They require more effort,

sometimes several different attempts.

During these difficulties,

the love of the project/person stands in jeopardy.

Our impatience can turn

into

a childish sort of temper tantrum.

The project becomes a burden

as it's seemingly unfruitful effort

chafes against our own ideals.

Now.

I want it fixed 

NOW.

Our impatience can erupt

from an underlying arrogance.

My children are arrogant.

They think the world revolves around them

and their hunger pangs,

their desires to watch a video, ride their bike, play a game.

"Mommy, come here NOW."

My Farmer is not arrogant.

He is perfect.

(Okay, yes, I'm kidding.)

Suffice it to say, he has expectations of things

from the kids, me, his job, the cows, my cooking;

and when those expectations are not exactly met,

let's just say his response is not always perfect.

(Well, he's usually pretty good about my experimental cooking,

which probably deserves an honorable mention.)

I am arrogant.

I expect people to want to hear what I have to say.

"Hey, I am talking to you.  You better be listening."

I hate itchy clothes.  I deserve softness.

I hate bland, boring foods that are good for me.

I hate manure on my floor, marker stains on my love seat cover,

loud screams from demanding children.

I deserve a kiss and kind words from my husband 

when he walks through the door;

his day should not influence what I want,

what is his duty.

I don't deserve to be disrespected

by my husband,

by my children,

by friends and family,

by strangers.

How dare they?

My arrogance makes me unhappy.

So I asked myself,

"What does God think?"

 Does He grin at my absurdity?

Does He growl at my childish ways?

What respect did He get on earth?

Did He get what He deserved?

But, amazingly, He is patient with me.

Despite my ugliness,

He ever etches His love.

.

As I read His words in the Bible,

they quietly,

in sweet simplicity,

point out my folly,

in His tenderness.

I stand before Him,

my pride undone.

And I see

that

without Him

I

am

nothing,

and that,

quite truly,

I 

deserve

nothing.

So where do I start when I want to start over,

when I beg for His help?

I start right there,

on the empty floor of my soul,

exactly

where

He

wants

me

to

be.

In my emptiness,

He is there,

waiting to fill.

As He continues to show me where I am wrong,

and where I need to be patient with others who may be wrong,

I let go.

And

something incredibly simple,

the tiniest thing

that I'd almost forgotten existed

happens.

A strange release of it all

in

the

form

of

a

smile.

My attitude is the biggest part of the battle.

If arrogance mars my motive,

superiority powers my words,

condescension clouds my vision;

then sometimes, my rightness, 

no matter how right I might have been,

is lost.

And I have to turn

and realize

a big part of being right

is

realizing

that

occasionally,

as much as it's hard to admit,

I

may

actually

be

wrong.

God is never wrong.

I can always look to Him first;

but some things He did not define so definitely "right" or "wrong"

for us...

because,

perhaps,

He wants us to learn how to disagree

with kindness.

To wait.

To search.

To pray.

To trust.

To learn patience

and how to have grace

when we are right,

and
grace
when we are wrong.

To learn the hard path to humility.

"Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly,

than to divide the spoil with the proud."

 Proverbs 16:19

Linking up to:

A Holy Experience
Time-Warp-Wife
Between Naps on the Porch - Metamorphosis Monday 
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Keeping It Simple - Motivate Me Monday
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My Uncommon Slice of Suburbia - Tuesday's Treasures
Coastal Charm - Nifty Thrifty
Creating a House of Grace - Twice Owned Tuesday
Not Just a Housewife - Show Me What Ya Got
Blue Cricket Designs
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Tip Junkie
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A Bowl Full of Lemons
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