Sunday, November 20, 2011

When I am Right. When I am Wrong.

 Sometimes in life,
we forget that we're all here,
coming from different backgrounds;

 different perspectives from different experiences;

different interests that cascade from a different focus.
Unfortunately, on occasion,
we even see others who disagree with us as ugly,
unlearned,
irritating,
perhaps even stupid.

But when we give people a chance,
when we realize that all people make mistakes,
need forgiveness,
bump, trip, fall;

we can also see that part of love
is coming beside,
patiently praying,
waiting:

waiting for others to see truth,
praying for them to find the answers,
realizing that our own quota of answers lies vastly lacking.

Sometimes,
we see immediate results...


 and they are beautiful...



and make us happy.



But some projects/people
require time.

They make us stand back and examine and think.
They require more effort,
sometimes several different attempts.

During these difficulties,
the love of the project/person stands in jeopardy.
Our impatience can turn
into
a childish sort of temper tantrum.


The project becomes a burden
as it's seemingly unfruitful effort
chafes against our own ideals.

Now.

I want it fixed 
NOW.


Our impatience can erupt
from an underlying arrogance.

My children are arrogant.
They think the world revolves around them
and their hunger pangs,
their desires to watch a video, ride their bike, play a game.

"Mommy, come here NOW."

My Farmer is not arrogant.
He is perfect.

(Okay, yes, I'm kidding.)

Suffice it to say, he has expectations of things
from the kids, me, his job, the cows, my cooking;
and when those expectations are not exactly met,
let's just say his response is not always perfect.
(Well, he's usually pretty good about my experimental cooking,
which probably deserves an honorable mention.)



I am arrogant.
I expect people to want to hear what I have to say.
"Hey, I am talking to you.  You better be listening."
I hate itchy clothes.  I deserve softness.
I hate bland, boring foods that are good for me.
I hate manure on my floor, marker stains on my love seat cover,
loud screams from demanding children.
I deserve a kiss and kind words from my husband 
when he walks through the door;
his day should not influence what I want,
what is his duty.

I don't deserve to be disrespected
by my husband,
by my children,
by friends and family,
by strangers.

How dare they?

My arrogance makes me unhappy.


So I asked myself,
"What does God think?"

 Does He grin at my absurdity?
Does He growl at my childish ways?

What respect did He get on earth?
Did He get what He deserved?


But, amazingly, He is patient with me.
Despite my ugliness,
He ever etches His love.
.
As I read His words in the Bible,
they quietly,
in sweet simplicity,
point out my folly,
in His tenderness.

I stand before Him,
my pride undone.

And I see
that
without Him

I

am

nothing,

and that,
quite truly,


deserve

nothing.




So where do I start when I want to start over,
when I beg for His help?

I start right there,
on the empty floor of my soul,
exactly
where
He
wants
me
to
be.

In my emptiness,
He is there,
waiting to fill.

As He continues to show me where I am wrong,
and where I need to be patient with others who may be wrong,

I let go.

And
something incredibly simple,
the tiniest thing
that I'd almost forgotten existed

happens.


A strange release of it all
in
the
form
of
a
smile.


My attitude is the biggest part of the battle.
If arrogance mars my motive,
superiority powers my words,
condescension clouds my vision;
then sometimes, my rightness, 
no matter how right I might have been,
is lost.

And I have to turn
and realize
a big part of being right
is
realizing
that
occasionally,
as much as it's hard to admit,
I
may
actually
be
wrong.


God is never wrong.
I can always look to Him first;

but some things He did not define so definitely "right" or "wrong"
for us...

because,

perhaps,

He wants us to learn how to disagree
with kindness.

To wait.

To search.

To pray.

To trust.

To learn patience

and how to have grace
when we are right,
and
grace
when we are wrong.

To learn the hard path to humility.



"Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly,
than to divide the spoil with the proud."
 Proverbs 16:19


10 comments:

  1. Amen! You are very wise...I am still working on that.

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  2. what a wonderful, well-put-together post! :)

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  3. Wow! This is really what I needed today. I truly am going to bookmark this and come back to it as I need to.

    This is a beautifully written and inspired reminder to all of us.

    Thank you so much!
    Have a beautiful Sunday and a Happy Thanksgiving!
    Many blessings,
    Lisa

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  4. Amazing post....I think I just spent 3/4ths of my allotted blogging time on it - going back and rereading; soaking it in. So very thought-provoking and in such an amazingly articulate way. The one paragraph I keep going back to is: "My attitude is the biggest part of the battle.
    If arrogance mars my motive,
    superiority powers my words,
    condescension clouds my vision;
    then sometimes, my rightness,
    no matter how right I might have been,is lost...." I love it....I want to etch that on my soul and remember it always....Thank you for your wonderful insights....Smiles & Hugs ~ Robin

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  5. Yes, I love how "TheCranky Crow" articulated the exact depth of the meaning of the post. Wonderful!

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  6. So much truth in what you wrote- thanks for sharing

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  7. Oh how I love that song. My mom use to sing it and so did my daughter when she was small. Love the boxes, great idea. Thanks so much for joining TTT and Happy Thanksgiving. Hugs, Marty

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  8. Beautiful words for me today as I am always seem to be in need of humility...

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  9. So wise - and I really like your pictures of transformation.

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